When I bought a copy of pop singer Dan Hill’s greatest hits, I came across “Daddy’s Song”. It begins:
I always knew, this time would comeA separate verse:
still I'm not ready, is anyone?
As a child I believed daddies lived on and on
I guess I was wrong.
As your first son I couldn't have loved you more.Ronald Armand Guillemette. As the first-born I carry his given name proudly; he was the one man I wanted to impress. He set an example for my brothers and me how to be a good, God-fearing man through his unconditional love for our mother Claire, his love and patience with each of his children, his many Air Force buddies, work colleagues, and his friends at the local American Legion and VFW, the way he practiced and lived his faith. He lives on in my siblings and me, his 21 grandchildren, and his 14 great-grandchildren.
I knew someday last Wednesday would come. My paternal grandfather had died years before my folks first met, and my maternal grandmother passed before I went to kindergarten. As a military brat, you always have to be aware about the risks to a loved one. At 12, the oldest of 7, I wasn't ready for my Dad to be shipped off to Vietnam; I didn't go to the airport to see him off. His orders were later changed to Thailand. In my trunk at home is a postcard from Dad where Dad wrote that I needed to be the man of the house while he was away. Then Monday night Mom called unexpectedly. Two hours after my plane touched down Wednesday, he was gone. One of God's blessings is that all 7 of us got to say goodbye and he knew we were there.
I learned a hard work ethic, professionalism and thriftiness from Dad
It was tough raising a large family on an enlisted man’s salary. During the earlier years of his Air Force career, he moonlighted.
Dad had a mischievous, fun-loving side
yes, beyond his signature “tiger bites”. One anecdote involved working on a Massachusetts relative’s farm during his youth. A series of freshly baked blueberry pies had been set outside to cool. Dad and the other boys swiped one of the pies, and they enjoyed it with the cream top layer of fresh raw milk. Naturally someone noticed one of the pies was missing and accused the guys of stealing it. The guys denied it: "Stick out your tongues!"
Dad loved Christmas
I can still hear him tell me childhood memories of going to Midnight Mass, sleigh rides, and snow softly falling down. Dad loved the change of seasons, Mom not so much; this explains why he will be buried at a family plot in his native Fall River. I found out the hard way that Dad wanted kids to enjoy their childhood. If people don’t understand Philip’s reference to Santa Claus and black stubble, there's a story behind it. I was the all-knowing, all-wise fourth grader, my brother asked me about Santa Claus. I was ambivalent; I went with the flow because I got presents. But I had to maintain my facade so I bluffed: I told him that I thought I saw some black stubble under the white beard. My brother knew only one person fitting that description: “Daddy! Daddy! Ronald said you were Santa.” My Dad spanked me saying, “Just because you know, you don't have to spoil it for the others."
Dad Loved Mom
Back to Dan Hill:
Daddy your love for my mother, your wife,My Dad never had an unkind word about Mom. This is not to say they didn’t have their differences as do all married couples. But he genuinely loved my Mom, and one of my big regrets about the timing of his passing was it was just a few weeks short of their 60th wedding anniversary. One particular moment that comes to mind is my last Christmas season visit home just a few years back. My folks and I were alone in the house and I had been in a bedroom on the Internet. I came out of the room and was about to walk into the living room when I spotted my parents standing in the middle of the room, kissing each other, totally wrapped up in the moment, oblivious to all else around them. I found it utterly charming and sweet, after more than 50 years of marriage, my parents were still so much in love with each other.
moves me more deeply than all else in my life.
Dad Loved His Family
Back in 1995, I had just come back from a long business trip to Brazil and decided to join my parents in a visit to New England. (Dad would have preferred to retire in New England, and periodic visits were Mom's compromise.) One day we went to see Dad's oldest brother. As we approached the house, we caught a brief glimpse of someone at the window, probably my aunt, but despite repeated knocking, no one came to the door. Mom and I thought that we should move on, but Dad insisted he had come to see his brother, and he wasn't leaving until he saw his brother. Bottom line: Dad saw his brother.
My Mom jokes that it wasn’t my Dad’s idea to have so many kids. It was hard to make ends meet on an enlisted man’s salary. One moment sticks out in my mind. I was then a resident college student at Our Lady of the Lake. My second year my Dad and the rest of the family left Laredo for his assignment in Germany; when the family returned home to the San Antonio area, they went to Sunday Mass at the OLL chapel with me. As we went up to receive communion, I heard my Dad behind me and asked if something was wrong. It later dawned on me that he was responding to seeing his whole family together.
Dad took time for his kids and was proud of them
I remember how proud I was when my Dad brought me with him to have a powdered doughnut and a glass of milk. However, one of my sisters remembered her Daddy date less fondly: it ended up getting an immunization. I remember Dad going to my high school’s football games with me, and even just a few years ago he flew into Baltimore to help me through my hernia operation. With my brother Pete, it's been about going to college football games, even though stadium seating wasn't great for his knees or back.
When Dad took me or a brother to the local VFW or American Legion, he would introduce us with pride to his friends.
Dad loved kids, even beyond our family. I remember being with Dad shopping at the commissary, and Dad might play peek-a-boo with a little boy as we passed by him seated in a cart. When he distributed clothing and toys to local kids in Thailand, they nicknamed him “Buddha”. When his children or grandchildren came to visit, he often had special treats or gifts for them. Along with my Mom, he would celebrate the special events of his grandchildren—graduations, weddings, and religious events like confirmations; even when Dad’s health issues over the past several weeks made it impossible to make my newlywed niece’s wedding, he and Mom were there by Skype.
Dad Loved God and Lived His Faith
God and Church are part of our French-Canadian roots. There were a couple of religious sisters on Dad's side of the family, including his big sister Grace. Dad is one of those whom live their faith by action, whether it's charity to poor Thai children or as an active member of the Good Shepherd community as a Eucharistic Minister to the homebound.
Dan Hill's song ends:
As a child I believed daddies lived on and on
Perhaps I'm not wrong.
