Post 4351 J: Why I Didn't Blog This Past Weekend

Another Trip to the Hospital

I have been blessed with good health over the years. I've had my share of ear infections and other minor ailments over the years, but most years as an adult I never visited a doctor's office. But twice over the past 13 months or so, I've been admitted to a major hospital on referrals by my local family doctor. The referrals weren't based on obvious symptoms; I felt normal, but my doctor thought my general health was at risk, and it was more preventive and proactive in nature.

My visit last year was on a late Saturday afternoon. I hadn't had lunch, so I stopped at a McDonald's on the way. (I almost never eat fast food unless I'm traveling.) I wasn't happy when they dumped my half-full cup of Diet Coke during admission. Then, my pet peeve, i.e., the waits. I was probably waiting 3-4 hours before I was escorted to an examining room. And then I might see  a doctor or nurse for maybe 5 minutes every hour or 2. Granted, I could fill my time by watching cable TV, but I was led to believe I would be discharged by 9 PM. No dinner; I would get home something like 2 AM. I had sticker shock over my co-pay.

This past Saturday was more serious. I thought I had symptoms of carpal tunnel syndrome in my left hand (I'm a southpaw by nature). I thought maybe it had to do to use of my recent purchase of a small keyboard I had bought via Amazon.  My doctor thought it was more serious. This time I got to the hospital around lunch time, but I didn't end up getting to eat until early evening. The first doctor seemed to confirm carpal tunnel syndrome, but the lead doctor didn't like my response to a certain exercise involving my left hand, and I ended up having a chest X-ray and a CT scan. The results to the latter seemed to confirm an incident; they were concerned that I was at risk for a second event and wanted to do tests to determine a possible explanation for the incident, so I was admitted. It's the first time I've been admitted/stayed overnight at a hospital. (I have had a couple of outpatient procedures over the past 11 years.)

I was pleasantly surprised to find myself in a private room. The bed was adjustable but the twin mattress was less comfortable than my home queen. I noticed a prominent warning to "please call (the nurse button); don't fall". Familiar readers know my best friend Bruce Breeding, recovering from early June strokes, died from complications of a fall at a skilled nursing facility; he needed  a bathroom break overnight and couldn't find the button. My control was integrated with TV operations There weren't any USB outlets or charge cables for my cellphone. and I quickly turned on extended power mode, but that sacrificed internet access.

The cafeteria food wasn't bad, although I was restricted to a low-carb regimen. (That's OK; I've been following a lower-carb diet since 2003; I actually ate more food than following Nutrisystem at home.) There were some mistakes made by the cafeteria; I only griped one time, when the bowl of soup was missing. Other mistakes included a beef patty vs. turkey burger ordered and missing salad dressing. I liked the omelettes with diced veggies, and a terrific turkey wrap, although I would have preferred a whole wheat vs white wrap.

Most of the last two days of the stay involved several tests to rule out things like conditions at risk for generating blood clots and a potential stroke, e.g., carotid arteries for plaque buildup and multiple tests for the heart (including an echo test. Then they wanted to extend the CT scan results with an MRI. If you have a coffin fetish or like tight spaces, you'll love MRI's. Of all things, my nose started itching 20 seconds inside the tube. That was the longest 12 minutes of my life.

The brain is amazing, especially the capacity to rewire functionality. I went from eating with my right hand and being unable to sign admissions paperwork to normal functional use of my dominant left hand, and they really weren't doing any therapy .

I've read up a lot on strokes since Bruce's major one in early June. I don't know his medical history, but his widow Susan mentioned that he was stressed out in his CFO role in the preceding days. (Things like high blood pressure under stress can lead to stroke.) In strokes, permanent brain damage results from extended interruptions in blood supply to parts of the brain; this typically results from a blocked artery (clot) or ruptured blood vessel. A transient ischemic attack (TIA) is a type of temporary stroke when blood supply interruptions are quickly resolved. Symptoms will vary based on the functionality of the brain where the blood supply interruption occurs.

Know the basic signs to help yourself or others to mitigate the damage; know that the right hemisphere of the brain affects the left side of the body, and vice-versa--if you or others suddenly lose your balance, slur your speech, feel numb or weak on one side of your body, get it checked out ASAP. In Bruce's case, Susan found him in bed unresponsive and had the ambulance come.  A follow-up, more massive stroke occurred at the hospital itself, and Bruce spent  months in rehabilitation regaining communication skills, learning to use a wheelchair and walker, etc. His swallowing ability was still impaired; he couldn't drink thin liquids like water and had only more recently transitioned to soft foods. His eyesight was permanently impaired to about half in each eye.

Control your risk factors--e.g., obesity, high blood pressure, LDL cholesterol, diabetes, etc. with meds, diet, and exercise. Aspirin can help control against the formation of blood clots. (Note that I am not a licensed physician; consult with your local physician before, say, starting an aspirin regimen. For example, some people's stomachs are sensitive.) Some things you can't control, like genetics; I have type 2 diabetes on both sides of the family tree, a paternal aunt had a stroke, and I have siblings on statins (cholesterol),

So I'm basically back to normal and doing my best to control my risk factors. This morning I weighed in at my lowest weight since 2004; make no mistake; I have a lot more to lose; I'm still 50 pounds over the level where the Navy put me on the fat boy program. The important point is all my risk factors are moving in the right direction, and I'm not resorting to dangerous gimmicks like crash diets.

Weird Things People Say Under Grief

I cannot say if and when I'll stop blogging over my late best friend Bruce Breeding. In part this segment is a reaction to an odd story I heard from his widow Susan's blog posts. Now to be honest Bruce and I had been mostly out of touch for at least a dozen years, not from lack of interest on my part. He used to have an email account associated with his old business website; he probably changed his primary email address without telling me; when going through old emails the other day I noticed my brother-in-law had used a different address for Bruce (who was a Scoutmaster for my older nephews in Plano, TX).

Bruce may have been unhappy over my response to my nephew Chris' Eagle Scout project. (My little sister was extremely sensitive to it.) To be honest, I didn't know it per se. Back in 2001, Chris had sent me a pro-life march fundraiser promotion; any familiar reader knows I'm pro-life. (I have a recurring "choose life" segment in my daily miscellany posts with clips of pregnancy announcements, gender reveals, adoptions, marriage proposals, family reunions, etc.) Chris' promo did not describe (in any obvious way, like in the heading or opening paragraph or specifying preferred user responses (like "I pledge $xx.xx per mile")) details I expected. I then initiated a series of replies which repeated "how long is the march?", e.g., 5 kilometers. Chris reacted defensively and evasively, never answering the question in the whole thread; he responded rudely, saying stuff like "It doesn't matter; you can pledge a flat fee for the event." Finally, at the end he wrote back in frustration (paraphrased), "I don't know why the hell you keep asking that question; it's specified in the promo", i.e., can't you read? Game over! I was not going to tolerate and reinforce bad behavior. I told him effectively "No for this year; ask again more respectfully next year." I pointed out to my sister I'm a published expert in the area of technical communication and could have proofread Chris' promo. My sister has teaching credentials and claims she herself previewed the promo. (I stand by my review.) I literally went word for word through the promo and finally found in buried in the middle of a long sentence in the final paragraph. Now I have always been more receptive to criticism than almost anyone I know, in part because I don't write for me but for an audience; I see feedback as critical in reaching that audience. And in 8 years of college teaching I probably had a dozen or so students ask a question I had specifically answered minutes earlier. I never ridiculed a student for not paying attention; it took less time and effort just to react with patience. In academic publishing, moreover, you have to have a thick skin in dealing with peer reviews of articles.

To this day, Chris is holding a grudge, and Bruce never discussed any of my nephews with me. I don't even know if Bruce and Chris knew each other. He may not have approved of the way I handled it. I had been on their Christmas card list until around 2007. I think that they had moved to Georgia around then and moved back to Texas (Austin) a few years back. The last time I spoke to Susan was around 2014; there was a government background check, and I had listed Bruce as a reference; the investigator claimed he couldn't reach Bruce; I had to Google contact information and talked to Susan. The investigator must have finally reached him because I didn't get a follow-up complaint but the last time I heard from Bruce personally was at or before 2012. He had been working for or at some non-profit in Atlanta and quit over some impropriety (CPAs have strict professional ethics, and I don't know the specifics). At some point I learned that Susan was a cancer survivor; Susan was more outgoing and on social media, unlike Bruce. I had friended her on Facebook (I had tried earlier contacting Bruce through son David, but those messages were ignored). I was just making conversation on some hot button topics like chemotherapy and essential oils, a case of being really careful of what you wish for. We resumed our Facebook friendship when my Plano brother-in-law, who remained a Facebook friend, mysteriously suggested I should visit her home page in early June. At some point, I asked her in a message what had happened at Murray State (where he taught for 7 years; my best guess is he didn't win tenure and maybe couldn't win a follow-up appointment). I didn't hear much from Bruce at Murray State (Bruce was an introvert), except he once wrote about how ill-prepared his students were for college and his classes); Susan responded by blocking my messages; that was totally unnecessary; I wasn't harassing her. I have zero tolerance for that sort of nonsense.

To some extent, contacts become less frequent over time, not for lack of effort on my part. I haven't heard from my Navy buddy Joe, my USAA pal Larry, and my Advantest friend Rahul in years. I finally heard from my dissertation chair, Richard Scamell a couple of weeks back for like the first time in 20 years, assuring me he knew about Bruce. If anything, all I had was Richard's UH email address, and he probably could have retired years back. I try not to take lack of responsiveness personally; people have differing communication styles and have family and other obligations on their rime. Bruce, for instance, is one of these people who made it count by writing at length. I'm far more likely to reach out to my own siblings.

Susan has not name-dropped me or other UH contacts over the past 6 months of blog posts. That's fine--it was about Bruce, not me, Bruce's contacts with me were irregular once I graduated. But we shared an office for years, we attended the same research design course, and we played racquetball dozens of times. Susan's references to Houston are mostly in reference to their local parish and brief references to Bruce's 4 college degrees in Houston, the first 2 at Rice. (By the way, those were described in one place as math degrees but in his obituary as accounting degrees.)

But one of the stories Susan shared about Bruce posthumously has me scratching my head. Bruce and Susan have 4 kids, Elisabeth, Stephen, David and Emily. In all the time I knew Bruce, he was a dedicated, loving dad. I'm not sure what Susan was thinking but she mentioned that Bruce would have preferred at most one kid; she noted she had wanted a larger family and said something like, "Why didn't you say something?" "Because I figured you would get over it."

It may very well be a true story. But I can only imagine how the younger siblings felt hearing that. It contradicts the Judaic-Christian notion that children are blessings from God. It's doesn't make Bruce look good, if anything, it almost makes him look selfish. I don't know what motivated her to share that story.

Christmas Cable Movie Schedules

I think NBC/USA have an exclusive contract to rerun the classic "It's a Wonderful Life", which I saw last night. Lifetime, as I've previously mentioned, has 24x7 coverage with nuances over Hallmark: they often reprise the 2 evening movies and will often run infomercials in the 2 - 6 AM time slot. Originally Hallmark Movies & Mysteries were premiering their weekend premieres on Thursdays and Fridays but it looks like they are shifted to Saturdays and Sundays at one-hour offsets from the sibling Hallmark Channel.

I did enjoy Lifetime's "Christmas a la Mode", which I originally thought was going to be an anti-corporate storyline about a small dairy farm struggling to survive, with one of the sister ownerw wanting to cash in her $400K share. They turn to a home-made ice cream store operation, with a fusion product with savory apple pie from the male protagonist.

Some of my old favorites include:

• "The Christmas Hope"
• "Love at the Christmas Table" 
• "Dear Santa"

On Hallmark Movies and Mysteries:

• "Catch a Christmas Star"
• "Trading Christmas"
• "Christmas with Holly"
• "The Christmas Note"
• "Help for the Holidays"
• "Angel in the Family"
• "The Christmas Card"

(I'm still waiting for them to reprise:

• "Angels and Ornaments"
• "Farewell, Mr. Kringle"
• "A Christmas Visitor"

)

On Hallmark Channel:

• "Holiday Engagement"
• "A Boyfriend for Christmas"
• "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year"

I believe older posts under my "Christmas Favorites" tag are more detailed, including plot summaries.