The States can best govern our home concerns
and the general government our foreign ones.
I wish, therefore ... never to see all offices transferred to Washington,
where, further withdrawn from the eyes of the people,
they may more secretly be bought and sold at market.
Thomas Jefferson
Satirical Quote of the Day
Mark Perry of Carpe Diem, channeling his inner mirror Barack Obama:
Look, if you’ve been unsuccessful, you didn’t get there on your own. If you were unsuccessful at opening or operating a small business, some government official along the line probably contributed to your failure. There was an overzealous civil servant somewhere who might have stood in your way with unreasonable regulations that are part of our American system of anti-business red tape that allowed you to not thrive. Taxpayers invested in roads and bridges, but you might have faced city council members who wouldn’t allow you to use them. If you’ve been forced to close a business – it’s often the case that you didn’t do that on your own. Somebody else made that business closing happen or prevented it from opening in the first place. You can thank the bureaucratic tyrants of the nanny state.My Greatest Hits: August 2012
If you haven't read these posts yet, here are my top five posts over the past month. I'm intrigued the top two (tied) are one-offs (not political) posts. The second one is a 3-year-old post which for some reason has spiked interest over the past month:
- The RAG 2012 Olympian Awards
- Dr. Zinkhan: A Former Student's Shock
- Miscellany: 10/23/10
- Miscellany: 8/22/10
- Miscellany: 8/12/12
I am a great admirer of George Will, but I doubt that he's ever heard of me. We have different styles. He is very measured and unflappable, and he has a way of hooking his audience into what he's writing or saying--he's building to a point in a compelling way that grabs your attention. It's happened to me on a few occasions; I've referred to it as being in the zone: you're talking, and you are aware that you have the attention of every other person in the room, wondering what you will say next. George Will has almost infinite patience; I've never heard him raise his voice, get excited, or interrupt someone. If someone interrupts him, it's like he bookmarks his place and resumes when given an opportunity to do so. (I'm referring a lot in this paragraph to his participation in ABC This Week's roundtable, where he is routinely outnumbered by mediocre progressives.)
What's worse is when Paul Krugman makes an appearance. Krugman is even more annoying in person than in his columns: he has this eye-rolling, dismissive, condescending, know-it-all tone; I'm dying for George Will to prick this guy's inflated ego. Will reminds me a lot of my Uncle Roger in temperament. Except I don't think I've ever heard Will crack a joke or laugh.
I've always hoped that maybe my little blog would catch the eye of some newspaper column syndicate, or maybe a newspaper would approach me about writing op-eds. (If they have, I'm not aware of it. Considering the fact a Georgia reporter reached out to me after I wrote my Zinkhan post, I'm sure they could find a way. No one has even asked to republish one of my pieces...) I've written some things in this blog unlike anything I've ever read on the Internet. I have an eclectic style: very organized, anecdotal, frequently pointed and direct, poignant or sentimental, with touches of humor.
Any familiar reader knows that I love playing with words, double entendre. Just to give an example: one of my academic articles is titled, "What Readers Mean By 'Good Documentation'" I have used a bipolar scaling method, called the semantic differential; Charles Osgood developed the scale, and a key source book is called "The Measurement of Meaning". The relevant title refers to the connotative meanings of relevant constructs, so another semantic differential researcher would automatically understand my title in context; at the same time, I wanted to use the title as a hook to draw the curious attention of technical writers, managers, and others less familiar with research methodology.
In a similar way, George Will is using double meanings: he is referring to federally-funded anti-obesity campaigns and then the size of government itself. Cafe Hayek loves his opening line:
Because the possibility of effectively supervising government varies inversely with government’s size, so does government’s lawfulness.Will basically looks as certain expenditures as a sort of Big Government starter dough: e.g., using tax dollars to fund advocacy for new taxes, say, punitive anti-obesity consumption taxes. Yet this is technically illegal (as per the above quote):
The law prohibits the use of federal funds “to influence in any manner . . . an official of any government, to favor, adopt, or oppose, by vote or otherwise, any legislation, law, ratification, policy, or appropriation.Will points out that Big Nannies try to implement one of 2 failed approaches to combat obesity, neither one really effective:
- additional information (e.g., calorie counts)
- punitive consumption taxes
Speaking as a fat person, I can tell you (as well as the libertarian authors Will cites) that I am very well aware of the social stigma of being fat: most women, for instance, will not even make eye contact with an obese man; clothes are difficult and expensive to buy; you get routinely humiliated in ways most people don't understand (e.g., having to use for a buckle extender on an airline flight). When I lived in California, I was routinely working long days, and my fitness club membership wasn't accepted locally. I gained weight in a stealthy manner; it wasn't so much I was eating more but exercising less. For one gig, to save on expenses, I drove to Los Angeles along I-5 and had a tire blowout (not unlike an incident I describe below). It was boiling hot, I was trying to replace my tire with stuck lug nuts. I really wasn't feeling well to begin with. There were cars traveling north, slowing down, rolling down their windows to shout out at me "Oink! Oink!", quite pleased over their (lack of) originality. I'm not singing "poor, poor pitiful me"; I take responsibility for my weight problem; I have more than enough incentives to lose weight. I know about health problems linked to obesity. It's a complex problem; changing food intake also affects metabolism
Will points out that these type progressive incentives only work on moderate users at the margins. Sooner or later, progressives resort to coercive rules.
We need to cut government which can't even regulate its own growth to stop it from even more Draconian suppression.
An Aside: My Academic Bio Excerpt
I'm quoting below from the biography I wrote for the above-cited article. UTEP had recruited me principally to support their pending application for AACSB (business school accreditation); they had only one other published MIS faculty member, and my prospective department chairman wanted to ensure my vita (academic resume) was on file in time for the review board (not necessarily the deciding factor but probably a form of insurance). I'll never forgot it was raining on the day of my campus visit--and El Paso boasts of something like 330 days of sunshine a year. I had gotten a new employee packet which, among other things, had a pamphlet on how to survive a rattlesnake bite.
By the time I arrived on campus, they had won accreditation, and it was a classic case of "what have you done for me lately?" In many schools, like this one, the MIS faculty are in a joint department with production logistics and/or quantitative methods professors; in this case, the chairman was a PLM professor, and he was a particularly nasty piece of work. It wasn't clear to me what the problem was; it was almost like being a high school freshman again, subject to unprovoked bullying by upperclassmen. To give a minor telling example, I was supposed to get a well-configured PC; instead, I got something out of some warped sense of humor: I think it had two 5.25" floppy drives, no hard drive, and a monochrome monitor. (For those who don't remember floppy drives, at the time there were two standard sizes: 5.25" and 3.5" media drives. I wanted the flexibility to handle both standards.) The chairman claimed that they had tried to find me (no call on my home answering machine, no message in my office mail sorter compartment) but had to make a quick decision on configuration. I eventually got a more reasonable configuration.
The situation deteriorated from there. I had befriended the resident tenured MIS professor with his own publication record whom didn't adequately brief me on what was going on. For example, the department had a popular lecturer with ties to the local business community but arbitrarily redesigned the courses he taught (e.g., he didn't teach data structures in the data structures course, and he redesigned the database course to be a practicum). We had talked about the course structure, and I came up with a course structure consistent with his. I required something like a handful of programming exercises during the semester, fairly typical, but I was astonished as more than half the class had dropped after the first week or two. I went to talk to my colleague, whom then clued me in on the fact that students didn't like the way he taught the same class either--when he was talking to me he was just describing how he thought the course should be taught, and the lecturer was getting all the students because he was known as an easy A whom didn't require computer assignments. I said, "Don't you think that I should have been briefed on this beforehand?"
In the meanwhile I had inherited this lecturer's students in my database class, for which data structures was a prerequisite, and 90% of the students didn't know what a linked list (a basic data structure) was. This was a clear management failure, in particular, the department chair. I realize that PLM professors don't necessarily understand MIS curricula, but he had a responsibility to reach out to those of us from accredited programs for our assessments. I was angry with my tenured colleague whom had failed to exercise necessary initiative and leadership.
One of my Latino colleagues I was going to do a research project with (I wanted to focus on critical success factors for Maquiladores) had a certain reputation: the scuttlebutt I heard was that the department had once tracked him down to a hotel room where a coed answered the phone.
I've already written about a couple of my UTEP database students whom violated my explicit academic honesty requirements for assignments (see my June 12 post on the most ridiculous lawsuit of the month). I mention in the post that the Dean of Students office did a kangaroo court "investigation" of the charge, which, as I mention in the post, the protagonist herself confessed to in front of the whole class. (I had opened lecture with a warning that a couple of unnamed students had violated policy; the protagonist asked, "Is it me?" Self-incrimination in front of a whole class of witnesses? Not even Perry Mason ever managed to achieve that. Case closed. I would have made some prosecutor...)
The Dean of Students conducted a sham investigation which excluded my input in entirety and materially violated my faculty rights. It wasn't just that: he called me up one day to warn me not to carry out a totally slanderous charge made by the protagonist--it was like pulling teeth trying to get the allegation out of him--that I had supposedly threatened to blacklist her on the job market. (This was utter detachment from reality; I had no recruiter or hiring manager connections, no motive to blackmail a cheating student...But then again, I wasn't dealing with a professional or intelligent Dean of Students. How gullible do you have to be not to suspect the motives of a student whom has been caught cheating trying to make the professor the issue? It's the oldest trick in the book. I've heard a lot of Deans of Students start out as lawyers--if so, that explains a lot.)
As I mention in the other post, it later turned out that this senior had decided to use ME--a first-semester professor--as one of her references on job applications submitted before the cheating incident, without my knowledge or consent (a major faux pas)--and now was in a state of panic over what I might do or say if employers contacted me about her. (A single company, Eastman Kodak, sent me a postcard query about her. Kodak recently filed for bankruptcy; I don't know if they hired my ex-student...)
In any event, this Indian student also attended another class with this young woman; she headed his group project. She had enlisted him in her appeal, figuring that he would back up whatever case she was trying to make. It turned out that the Indian student was not going to back up her lies, and he told me that the Dean of Students (siding with the protagonist) was actually arguing with him about the facts. He finally came to see me because she had retaliated for his "betrayal" by locking him out of the class project, and he was hoping that there was something I could do. This is the same young man whom took my picture just before the end of the school year, saying he took pictures of the people whom had made a difference in his life, and I later read the back of the photo, on which he had written: "Most sincerest appreciation for some "real" education. Couldn't have made it without your help." He was on his way to the University of Virginia to pursue an MBA.
The plaque on the wall on the right side of the screen was from my 1985 ICIS Doctoral Consortium; the one just off my left shoulder was for my first IT article published in a venerable academic/practitioner IT journal. (The journal gave me the option of a small payment or a plaque.) In the lower left corner of the photo you'll see my trusty hotpot. I'm not kidding about working at least 60-70 hours per week, mostly on campus. I usually had powdered coffee, creamer and sweetener in a desk drawer. I mentioned in other posts a couple of incidents back at UWM when I was filling the same hotpot at one of the sinks in the men's restroom on my floor: in one case, a couple of guys rushed into the restroom by me and went into--the same stall. (I didn't ask; I didn't tell. I never used that stall again.)
In the other case, I opened the restroom door just to be overcome by a putrid stench. I saw a bathroom entirely smeared in excrement. The first thing I thought was, nobody is going to believe this. I called up the university police and said, "I have to report something, and you're never going to believe it." The policeman on the other end said, "Try me." So I explained, and what was probably the most amazing part was his nonchalant response: "Yeah, they've done it before on the first and second floor. It's drugs. It was only a matter of time before they made it up to your floor." I left for the evening, and the next morning I hesitated on entering the bathroom. The bathroom was spotless; it was almost as if the prior evening hadn't happened--a very surreal experience. I presume that it was some union worker(s) whom cleaned it up (hosed it down?) I've made criticisms of labor unions before in this blog, but the closest I've come to this is maybe changing the occasional baby's diaper (not that often as a bachelor uncle); whoever cleaned that up earned his pay--it's a job I wouldn't want.
Resuming my UTEP story, I was demoralized by the time DSI and ICIS (in Boston) came around; normally some academic job screenings take place at the conferences. I had a 3-year contract (or so I was led to believe: my offer letter specifically discussed, in unconditional terms, summer stipend awards over my first 3 summers at UTEP) but I did some low-key window shopping at ICIS. Louisiana Tech had made an overture, and what was unusual was the fact they insisted on doing a campus visit right in the middle of finals week; I tried to defer until the spring semester, but they were inflexible. For whatever reason, Louisiana Tech declined to make an offer. The situation at UTEP continued to deteriorate, and I finally went on the market for another tenure track position. It was too late in the recruiting cycle; the only thing I could find at that point was a 1-year visiting professor position at Illinois State.
One curious thing happened at ICIS. Unlike Mark Perry, I LOVE academic conferences. I remember the first time I introduced myself to Blake Ives. Blake Ives, a prominent University of Minnesota graduate (Minnesota was the birthplace of MIS as an academic discipline), has written or co-authored a number of well-known MIS articles (including one I've criticized in passing in this blog). He had no clue whom I was, but I name-dropped one of my former professors, Maryam Alavi (whose CACM article I proofread along with a colleague's wife, but Maryam had already sent back the proofs before I reported some sequencing problems with her bibliography, which still makes me cringe to this day). Blake just gushed when I mentioned Maryam: "Oh, I just love her." Blake is a huge guy, maybe a foot taller than I am; what's amusing about that is that he co-wrote this one famous paper where he speaks of being unobtrusively observing MIS managers going through their everyday tasks. I just couldn't imagine an IT manager being unaware of Blake's presence.
In any event, I was at this one cocktail party when this academic heard that I was at UTEP, and he pulled me aside to ask me what I knew about my colleague. (I had read one or 2 of my colleague's articles in passing but we had different research interests; I don't recall him trying to explore joint research projects at the time.) The academic said, "Did you know that he used to be on faculty back at Missouri-[branch school]? What do you know about his leaving?" I hadn't really thought about it. I knew the guy had a PhD from Texas Tech, probably closer than any other state university to UTEP. I figured that maybe he had some roots in west Texas. The guy was unspecific but implied that there was a plagiarism issue (self-plagiarism?); the implication was that he had been asked to leave. "Just ask him." So after we return, I asked my colleague, "I met this guy whom told me that I should ask you about what happened at Missouri-[branch]." I never expected my colleague's reaction: he was livid, shaking with rage and vowing that his lawyer would sue me if I dared to say a word to anyone else. For the record, I never discussed the issue with the administration. To be honest, I was giving my colleague the benefit of a doubt; I had no motive to threaten him. I felt if someone was talking behind his back, he had the right to tell his side of the story. I didn't even know the specifics of the allegation; when people start threatening lawyers over unspecified allegations, there really is fire under the smoke.
This guy was a creep anyway. One day he boasted while a Texas Tech PhD student of having had an affair with a prominent female PhD candidate. What annoyed me even further than this juvenile boasting of his romantic conquests was his joking ad lib to the affair, "Hey--it's Lubbock; what else is there to do in Lubbock?"
My last days at UTEP were unpleasant, and the university system still owes me money; life isn't fair, and you have to move on with your life. I had already begun to feel like I was serving a 3-year sentence at UTEP; there was a reason I did a campus visit to Louisiana before the university and I had a discussion about my leaving.
The last argument with my former department chairman dealt with commencement. To provide context, my baby sister was graduating with an accounting degree that spring from a San Antonio university. I had already made flight arrangements. Even as I was making arrangements to box up my stuff in the office, my department chairman stopped by and ordered me to attend UTEP commencement on the same day. Noting that he had given me no advance notice (I don't believe that I was asked while at UWM), I refused to change my plans.
Even my visit to San Antonio had a story to it. I used to love answering machines (before voice mail became a common add-on). I was very creative when it came to recording my outgoing messages. I constantly changed messages, did voice impersonations, jokes, quotes, whatever. People were calling me up just to hear my latest answering machine message. I swear this really happened: I answered the phone one day, and my friend told me to hang up and not pick up, because he wanted to hear my outgoing announcement!
I had been futilely arguing with my Mom (I am my mother's son) to buy one, but she refused: didn't want one, didn't need one, etc. These were the old days when you didn't have cellphones or have to arrive at an airport hours before your flight to fight through long lines and TSA security. I left myself some margin for error--but not enough for a major tire blowout on the way to the airport. It is not fun in 100-degree heat to try to budge stuck lug nuts. It took me about 15-20 minutes, but I finally mounted my spare and headed out to the airport--but missed my flight. I had to book the next flight, which I think was another 2 or 3 hours off. None of my contacts were home. I eventually got home and someone picked me up.
And my folks finally got an answering machine.
 |
| Originally published in my Miscellany: 1/06/10 post. |
Ronald A. Guillemette is an Assistant Professor of Information Systems and Mayfield Research Fellow at the University of Texas-El Paso. He received his PhD in Management Information Systems from the University of Houston in 1986. He has published several articles in the technical communication literature, and his work has also appeared in International Journal of Man-Machine Studies, Information & Management, and ACM DATA BASE. His research interests include human factors in MIS, information systems engineering and behavioral analysis and measurement. Dr. Guillemette is a member of ACM, DSI, IEEE Computer Society and the Academy of Management.Political Humor
They're now worried that Tropical Storm Isaac could hit Florida during next week's Republican convention. But Florida is ready for it. Thanks to President Obama's economic policies, many businesses down there are already boarded up. - Jay Leno
[And the banks have volunteered to help with the evacuations of homes with underwater mortgages.]
It’s now being reported that Joe Biden will go to the Republican convention to try to cause problems for Mitt Romney. Then after that, he will go to the Democratic convention where he will definitely cause problems for President Obama. - Jay Leno
[The good news for the Republicans is that the 1912 GOP convention was held in Chicago.]
Bonus celebrity joke:
Khloe Kardashian got in an accident. She was on the freeway and rear ended someone. There was no little or no damage. On a scale of 1-to-Lohan, it was a 2. - Jimmy Kimmel
[Are you sure that it wasn't Kim Kardashian whom rear ended someone? Or maybe Jennifer Lopez?]
Musical Interlude: My Favorite Groups
Toto, "99"
