Be yourself;
no base imitator of another,
but your best self.
There is something which you can do better than another.
Listen to the inward voice and bravely obey that.
Do the things at which you are great,
not what you were never made for.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
What is Wrong With Some People?
There is a general problem with civility in the US, and I really think it starts at the top. It's not so much I dislike Obama on a personal level; he's articulate, unflappable, and sincere in his political beliefs, and he has a very attractive family. But I always thought he was more attractive politically when he was more idealist and positive, a post-partisan Washington. I thought his populist, zero-sum, defensive politics were a huge mistake, not with the 20% or so progressive voters; I think finger-pointing at the opposition and Bush-bashing have been counterproductive. But where Obama lost my respect was when he went after the Supreme Court over Citizens United in his SOTU address. The "elections have consequences" rhetoric, refusals to negotiate in a mixed government, comparing political compromise to "negotiating with terrorists" and threats to make partisan attacks in the inaugural and SOTU addresses were fundamentally ill-advised and are unworthy of a legitimate President.
There are a few items which some readers may be familiar with. One is referenced in my humor segment below about a Lehigh graduate student, a university professor's daughter, whom allegedly acted in a disruptive fashion in class and was given a poor participation grade after being given a written warning (and presumably the student did not change her pattern of behavior). I have mentioned an incident in earlier posts I experienced at UTEP where a pair of students, against policy, clearly worked together on an assignment (what tipped me off was a very unusual solution to a simple problem). I made an announcement reminding students of policy without identifying the students. The female culprit asked, "Is it me?" (Talk about self-incrimination.) Her behavior deteriorated into a defiant temper tantrum. She refused to talk to me after class; she wanted to discuss it RIGHT NOW. She said that she was a straight-A student, the university wouldn't let me do anything to her, etc.(Basically I docked one assignment, there were multiple assignments, I may have dropped the lowest, and I think assignments only accounted for 10% of the course grade.) She went to the Administration and smeared me, falsely claiming I threatened to blacklist her on the job market; I later discovered the real reason for the smear: she had listed me, a first-semester professor, as a reference without my knowledge or consent. There are other war stories of disrespectful behavior; fortunately, these students are more the exception than the rule, but I probably had to deal with a good 2 dozen or so over 8 years.
- Attacking Suicide Victim Mindy McCready. I haven't really followed country music since the 1970's, so I've probably never heard any of the singer's songs. I understand that she was battling personal issues (alcohol, mental illness), her boyfriend and father of the younger of her 2 sons also apparently killed himself last month. As a pro-lifer, I wish Ms. McCready had chosen differently. Those 2 precious boys are going to grow up without knowing their mom and/or dad. But I don't understand the venomous tweets or other communications (e.g., "loser"). She leaves behind birth family survivors, not to mention her sons. Let our words be not harsh and judgmental, but gentle, respectful and comforting.
- Slapping a 19-Month Crying Toddler on a Plane. This instance is even more notorious because the older white man used the 'N' word in talking about the boy to his mother. It's true--I don't have a kid of my own. But I grew up with 6 younger siblings and I have babysat for many nephews and nieces. It never crossed my mind to swat one of them, even when a sister-in-law authorized me. I'll never forget babysitting my oldest nephew as a baby. He was crying; he wasn't hungry; he didn't need a change. I improvised a Native American style dance bobbing him slowly up and down. That worked--until I stopped for a breather. I didn't blame the little guy for his discomfort. I just felt bad I didn't know how to diagnose the problem and help the little guy. My sister called to check up; I think she read the concern in my voice, and they called it an evening. She later told me the little guy was starting to teethe. Not so little anymore. He's in Texas law enforcement, like my brother-in-law a few inches north of 6 feet. Hitting a child, a gift from God, particularly in a moment of frustration or anger, is never acceptable, period. Life happens. We sometimes have to put up with things we don't particularly like--rap music, election results, co-workers, etc. (I remember in my first IT job, an older worker Joe used to smoke and sometimes jabbed his cigarette stub into my personal space.) As for the N word: I don't like political correctness, but one should always address another person respectfully. Usually the better recruiters and interviewers ask me for my preference in how to address me--'Ron', 'Ronald', 'Dr. Guillemette', etc.
- Abusing Pregnant Seals. I don't know why, but this story enrages me: two young women at a San Diego beach "sitting on [pregnant seals], pulling their flippers, kicking them, flashing lights in their faces until each and every one of them is driven off the beach". This is so heartless; let us treat God's creatures respectfully.
Political Humor
A man in Georgia was arrested for stealing a Krispy Kreme doughnut truck and leading police on a high-speed chase. The police charged him with one count of grand theft irony. - Jimmy Fallon
[It apparently wasn't an Atkins diet radical or USDA official, taunting the pursuing officers with "No doughnut for you!"... The police classified it as a "bring your own coffee event".]
A college student in Pennsylvania is suing her school for the C+ she got in a class. She said, “I'm suing whoever's responsible for this!” And her professor said, “Don't you mean WHOMEVER?” - JImmy Fallon
[The Lehigh graduate student, a counseling psychology degree candidate, got docked on a class participation grade for unprofessional behavior and reportedly did not respond well to a written warning from the professor. The student insists this is really a dispute over gay marriage (which the student favors). She is suing to have the grade raised and up to $1.3M damages of potential lifetime earnings lost. (A C in a graduate class can be very serious.)
Tell me, does that inspire confidence in you? Would you pay $50/hour for a counselor whom couldn't deal respectfully with her professor, even if she had a difference of opinion? Do our court systems really want to trump university grade appeal processes? If Lehigh does change the grade, maybe it should award honorary doctoral degrees in counseling to Don Rickles and Andew Dice Clay.]
Musical Interlude: My Favorite Groups
The Supremes, "The Happening"
